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.." I paused, hearing myself go in all directions, and I took a breath and slowed down. I said with difficulty, "I don't want later, I want now. It won't do any good later. Sometimes... sometimes I think I've never done anything I wanted, and I want to do it all at once, everything at once. And I end up not doing anything."I had to stop myself. I was on the verge of telling her I wanted her, Martha, and Martha Jane, now, always, and I wanted to be older now and successful now and out of Memphis now. But I couldn't go that far. I kissed her neck. I whispered, "Your neck feels good. And it feels so good with me in your -- inside you. I feel so --"I stopped. I was suddenly overcome with the strangest, most nonsensical, most idiotic fear I'd known in years. I had a sudden, flashing vision of family, nuns, aunts, rules, frowns, gasps of horror. And mom. If I started talking, where was it going, except to go where it had always gone: nowhere? I didn't know how to say it, how to say anything. My hard cock bobbed in its release. Her response to seeing my hard-on was positive. I felt the beginnings of arousal in her. I returned to my chair, which disappointed her."Will you follow my lead?" I asked again.She nodded."Are you proud of your breasts?"She looked confused. "I guess." You're being wishy-washy. Are you proud of them, or not?"She frowned. "Not really. They're okay. They're just breasts." Are they sensitive? Do your nipples get hard when brushed by cold air?"She giggled. "Sure, that's normal." Do they get hard when you touch them, fondle them? You do play with them occasionally, don't you?" Yes."I shook my head. "I can't help you if you lie to me." No, I don't play with my boobs. I did when I was younger, but..." Touch them now, fondle them, pinch your nipples gently, pull them out away from your body a little."She sat like a lump."Do you want my help, or not?" You're embarrassing me, Josh." I don't care. I'm trying to help. If you don't cooperate with me, I can't.
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